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Working on My Handle

I spent the summer before my senior year in high school playing as much as basketball as possible.  Having dedicated the previous two summers to shooting, building strength and endurance, and adapting to the nuances of organized basketbal, I felt that this was going to be a make or break year for me at school.  I was determined to make the varsity team that fall and knew that one of the last stumbling blocks was to improve my handle. or so I thought.

You would have been hard pressed to find me without a basketball that summer.  I dribble up the hill on Homelawn and along the winding crescents along Highland and 87th avenue that transported my friends and I to the basketball courts behind Thomas A Edison high school in Queens.  When my friend Calvin couldn't oblige, I'd marshal my brother Randy out with me in the searing afternoon heat to try stealing the ball from me.  At times is was so hot outside that the synthetic leather seemed on the verge of melting.  If I had to spend too much time calming him down once Randy became upset at being an involuntary participant in my cruel and unusual game, neither of us was able to pick up the ball that had been idling in the sun without some sort of shield on our hands. 

Sitting down to watch Martin or The Wonder Years did not proclude me from doing drills. As the trials and tribulations of Kevin and Winnie unfolded on screen, flicked my basketball from the fingertips of one hand to another, seeking for that transcendent moment that coach Thomson always spoke of when one's hands become one with the rock.   

Sad to say, after all of that work, I ended up never trying out for the team.  It's one of the few things in life that I look back on over and over.  Not necessarily with regret, in fact, I'd prefer regret, but serious concern over whether there have been other moments in life where I had put in the work, but did not go through with the tryouts?

Funny enough, I almost wrote this post two months ago after reading John Edgar Wideman's essay collection Hoop Roots where he recounts his experience with the game he loves, and the game that his body warns him he soon will no longer be able to play much less play to the exalted abilities of his youth.  Wideman lays bare the a series of connections between writing and basketball, essentially how the tap of the keyboard has become as much of a pacesetter for his life and reams as the echos of a basketball's sonic vascillation from hand to ground, and how each of these endeavors has now taken turns in keeping food revolving from hand to mouth.   

I didn't write that entry because I was not sure where it fit into this blog.  It was unclear to me where it fit into this dialogue occuring between me and the world.  Then today while forwarding a link to a post that I just wrote at The Huffington Post to MrChambers, it hit me, what I have been struggling to do of late is working on my handle, searching for ways to keep the ball from bouncing off my leg and out into the street.  When mulling over Yagoda's teachings, the significance of that noise inside my head that sounds awfully close to a person shouting, or drawing one friend or another's eyes to essays that may not now or never be ready for the world, I'm back to working on my handle. 
 
You don't need to be a writer or a visual artist to be working on your handle.  Indeed we are working on our handles, and most working on more than one at a tme.  Over time I have learned that living itself is a handle, which is why we strive in our own ways, through our own spiritual paths strive to be at one with the rock.   
Posted on Thursday, January 17, 2008 at 01:07PM by Registered CommenterFerentz in | Comments5 Comments

Reader Comments (5)

Well said Fo. We are all trying to get that Zeke (the player not the coach)/ Iverson/ Kidd/ Kenny Anderson/Chris Paul level of handle. Be it in our careers, relationships, or simple hobbies (try getting your handle in golf, impossible..).

January 17, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKwam

Kwam, you really could have left Kenny Anderson out of that sentence. Like really, Kenny Anderson!!!

I am SOOOOO trying to get my handle. It's like a gold swing, one day you think you've got it down and then the next life gets in the way and you feel like you're starting all over.*Sigh*

January 17, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterilyana

I like the metaphor. I'll never tire of reading snazzy, astute connections black authors make between our world and our lingo. You made me think of Yusef Komunyakaa's sports poems that I used, to get more black boys writing in my middle school journalism course. And you made me think about something else that I started and have yet to carry through to completion, a vision I've yet to get handle of. Good blog, good column, good stuff, per usual, my friend. Extra: Why was I up till two in the morning watching Ernie, Kenny Anderson, and Charles? Ended one day with hoops only to start the next on the same theme. If I lived on the west coast, I wouldn't have to stay up so late. Hmmm...

January 18, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterchambers

Kwam. It sure isn't easy trying to get that golf game together. But as long as you don't let the game handle you, you have a chance of making it through.

January 18, 2008 | Registered CommenterFerentz

Sports watching on the west coast is a beautiful thing, especially if you follow east coast teams. Out there you can watch a Knicks game before dinner, and don't get me started on football. I'd have to go back to being Catholic though, because the NFL games get going so early that I'd need to either go to an 8am service, or a Saturday afternoon one.

January 18, 2008 | Registered CommenterFerentz

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